A Coutts charge card would work well. So would Shell Drivers Club
First, a warning. Don’t eat while reading this article. I tried snacking while I wrote it, and don’t feel so good now.
A while back our eldest, aged 4, said, “What are these things in my hair, Daddy?” Now we were on a Category 5 Nit Alert at the time – apparently her reception class was riddled with them – so I leapt into action. By which I meant I asked her to come over so I could take a look, since my sorry ass appeared to be stuck to the sofa.
But instead of lice, she was picking out flakes of dead skin from her locks, flakes that, to this day, continue to fly free from her scalp in a gusty wind. It’s the remnant of the cradle cap she’s had since birth.
Then, in crawled her sister (14 months), with her beautiful wispy hair and kissable scalp. Yet she too had moderately severe ‘seborrhoeic dermatitis’, too – or “large, greasy, yellow or brown scales” as the NHS so charmingly describes it. See, I told you not to eat.
If your baby’s cradle cap turns your stomach as badly as it did mine, I might just have the answer. It worked for us, and it’s a damn sight easier than olive oil, coconut oil or vaseline.
Wait until the baby’s mother is out. Trust me on this.
Take out your credit card. I recommend Mastercard, but I imagine Visa would work too, or even Switch. Hell, you could even use your gym membership card, if you can find it.
While dandling junior on your knee, angle your plastic and gently start to scrape at the cradle cap. Use your common sense here, the skin is pretty delicate and you shouldn’t be using any pressure but…go on, get right underneath those flakes of skin. See if you can lever off a whopping bit you can wave around like the Turin Shroud. It’s so satisfying, you’ll probably find all your chakras start to align, or something.
If the contented gurgling stops, maybe you should too, but my sample of one seemed to find the 20 minute process really quite enjoyable. At the end, her scalp was a little pink but that quickly subsided, every flake was gone and cradle cap never came back. Seriously. I imagined it was regenerative and I’d soon be averting my eyes during breakfast again, but I can now eat my cornflakes with confidence.
Incidentally, it becomes much harder once they’ve got a decent thatch, which is why our baby gets plenty of head kisses but the eldest…not so much. So you might also have issues if your newborn is one of those
strange charming hairy ones.
Get out the dustpan and brush.
Were we just lucky? Does it work for you? Give it a go, and be sure to tell us what happens in the comments. Just sweep up first.